So, I wanted to wait until some official photos came out to post this, but I’m just kind of writing things on the fly now! I felt so excited about this event and it’s been in the back of my mind so much that I just want to get the details of the experience down before I forget them.
The same people who put on the Wasteland Weekend event tried something new in 2017–a Wastelander’s “Ball”….post apocalyptic, but fancy. From what I understand it obviously was a hit, and they announced a second annual event sometime toward the end of that year. I got tickets for Allyn and I as a birthday gift to him (and presented the present as an old, worn invitation stuck inside a Nuka-cola bottle) back in January. We immediately got to work on our costumes.
Allyn started watching a show, Blood Drive, right around this time and fell in love with a character named Julian Slink. Slink dressed fancy, and post-apocalyptic, so Allyn did a bit of a costume mixed with a cosplay on this one. I just went with full on froofy ballgown, because duh. The only faction regal enough to pull that off is the Legion, and that’s exactly what I modeled mine after. The past few months has been filled with scrambling to glue, cut, paint, spraypaint, and mash together everything. We pulled it off with help from Niki and Derik–I couldn’t believe it, but we looked fantastic!
LA is a ten hour drive for us. We got the weekend off and I used my master of travel planning skills to decide the best way to do it was drive to Primm, Nevada, stay overnight, then go to the party/stay in LA, and drive home Sunday. It worked out so well that I have to once again applaud myself. Frittering away all over the states and the globe has paid off so that I rarely end up stumped about travel plans, I don’t overdo my schedule or energy, and I don’t end up STRANDED IN THE AIRPORT—looking at you, Arlanda 2009. Holy shit, that was almost ten years ago.
Anyway, Primm was so great–I’ll definitely stay there again. Whiskey Pete’s was remodeled and the rooms were just as fresh as anything in Vegas, with none of the crowd (just kidding, there was a crowd, this big desert race was happening that weekend…) and all of the amenities. I actually had pertussis and bronchitis during the trip that got so bad I ended up with full-blown laryngitis, so I crashed early. The amazing thing about Allyn is that even while I slept in Nevada, he was working on my codpiece, and finished it in the hotel room.
After exploring for a bit–the Bonnie and Clyde car is in the casino on display, so that was super cool to see, and we also made a pit stop at my home away from home, Goodsprings–we got back on the road with a few hours left before the big night.
The next part was definitely the most stressful: getting to the venue. I had already booked us a parking spot in a garage, but this was downtown LA and I had never been. I also don’t wish to ever go again, because that place is just awful. I hate cities, and I hate people, and I hate everything…but this was especially bad. I’ve never seen so many homeless people, some of the freeway passes looked like District 9. I’m quite used to poverty, but urban poverty is somehow especially devastating to me, likely because I am so unfamiliar with it.
Anyway, we get to the parking garage and the angry little dude tells us that our truck is too big. Allyn risked going down anyway and I think we cleared with about 1 centimeter left. From there we could walk a few blocks to the venue. We were so early (good planning what can I say) that we had time to eat. We stopped for drinks at a bar nearby and got a lot of compliments. We also got some hamburgers and a homeless guy asked for some food, and Allyn gave him a burger and was really annoyed about it until I pointed out that the guy had guts coming up to the only people in the place dressed fucking ridiculously terrifying and asking for food. Haha. (We later saw him again and he was profoundly more cheerful and grateful after the food, so that cheered Allyn up a bit)
When I went to my first Rammstein concert I had no idea what to expect. The ‘typical’ Rammstein fan is a surly angry goth in a trenchcoat with a spiked collar, and I thought that me not fitting that stereotype would make me an outsider. When we all gathered outside the Denver Colosseum though, my fears were washed away as I saw every age, race, social class, and style of human there–and the giddiness and love of Rammstein was present in every single person. We didn’t even need to introduce ourselves, we just babbled and nerded out.
Wastelanders are the same. They’re my people, even if I don’t know them. You show up and stand there waiting for the venue to open, so excited you could burst into flame, and nobody cares what you sound like or where you come from, they just want to talk about the apocalypse n shit. It’s just amazing. I never connect with people and I absolutely don’t connect with crowds–I mean, I literally left in a panic during my EMT instructor class because we had to do a group activity–but this crowd you can’t help but connect with.
I’ll take this opportunity to mention that Allyn and I actually first “bonded” over Wasteland Weekend. I’d been talking to a fellow guard about the event, and the guard turned around and mentioned it to Allyn after Allyn glimpsed a Mad Max wallpaper on my computer. I don’t think that guard realized that he was accidentally creating an avenue of us to start talking, but that’s how we did! Feels really good going to an event together after that legacy.
Onto the ball itself! The venue was decked out, it looked AMAZING. We were like kids at a candy shop. I still couldn’t speak at this point but it appeared everybody around me was so drunk or happy they didn’t even notice. Maybe it just went well with my imposing character to glare silently while Allyn translated whatever I needed to say. I didn’t get too many venue pictures, but it’s because I was too busy having fun, really. We watched some aerial dancers, and participated in a really cool group ballroom dance lesson. Interjection–the instructor was so professional and maintained her composure while being surrounded by total weirdos, most of whom were already inebriated. She was snarky and hilarious, perfect for the Wasteland ball. Also, even the ultimate introvert-me-got to mingle with a lot of people because we kept trading partners. This is the kind of interaction I can get behind–a minute or two of dancing aaaaaaaaaand go away now, repeat.
You can see Allyn in this photo, he’s the top hat in the lower right corner. I think I’m in the bottom left, but it’s hard to tell. Anyway, after the dance lesson there was more music and a performance by Hell’s Sirens, some really awesome bellydancers. The final performer opened her piece by walking around the audience and painting inverted crosses on random “chosen” onlookers, in fake blood. She marked one guy near us and with every ounce of willpower I conjured up enough of my voice to say “Now you’re fucked.” He shrugged, “Yeah….well, I had a good run.”
Another item of note–we ran into a maker of uranium bullets, which fascinated me so much he seemed amused at my awestruck gaze and gave me a uranium bullet bracelet, and he was the only person who knew who Allyn’s costume was supposed to be. He’d worked on the set of Blood Drive, and that’s pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of. We were both nerd-level excited. I was wearing my Vault 34 shoes, and showed them off to a few people who mentioned that I was with the Legion. I was too sick to even attempt dancing after the lesson, but I guess while I was in the restroom a girl came up to ask Allyn to dance. He declined her! What a jerk! I told him next time he’d better say yes.
Anyway, we ended up leaving early because the very light exercise in dancing just became too much for me. I was feverish and sick and disgusting and couldn’t talk or move. I didn’t mind leaving early but felt bad that Allyn didn’t get to enjoy the ball for longer. You know how these things get as the night progresses. At least I lasted as long as I did, which is surprising, because I was reeeeeeeally sick. I collapsed at the hotel pretty much immediately and slept way too late the next morning.
It’s always nice to go home after you’ve had a good time out. Allyn and I stopped at a random gas station to use the bathroom, but everybody else in the world was in this one lone gas station (going home from the race I mentioned) so we opted to just go out in the desert a ways and pee. That ended up turning into a mini off-road session with the rental truck. We also stopped at a deserted..who knows what? It looked like a gas station and restaurant, but had long been taken over by raiders.
Edit: I went and googled and apparently this place was once called Halloran Springs. Wow! What a difference. So cool to see the ‘before.’ These days I’d like to think the surviving architecture could be renamed “Eat Passy.”
a) can I just do like Myspace Tom and cash out an empire and spend my life doing photography? I’d be happy to photograph this shit forever
b) isn’t Allyn such a dreamy hunk? I love that he loves exploring the dredges of the world (and prefers them) just like me.
Anyway, that pretty much sums up the trip. I can’t wait to go back to the Mojave later this year, to Vegas. I have a better appreciation for Southern California and won’t mind going back to the various Wasteland events we’re sure to go to.