It’s interesting that breastfeeding is the new FRENZY CULT and yet not a lot of education is out there about tongue ties and how it affects breastfeeding. I’d done all my duties and read up on proper latch and blah blah blah boring who cares god I don’t miss ANY OF THIS, but when Ender first tried to breastfeed I told the nurse that it hurt really bad and her response was “yep. it hurts. that’s life.” I’M NOT EVEN JOKING. She was awful.
But I pushed and asked the lactation consultant, who had no clue what I was talking about until I explained it and then said “oh yeah! I knew a woman who had that once and she had to have her tongue cut when she was an adult! Supposedly it’s really painful!” UGH THANKS. The worst part? “You know what helps bruised nipples? Rub a little breastmilk on it!” I’m sorry, but breast milk is literally fat and sugar. Do you want me to put cookies on ’em too? Butter them up maybe? What other bodily fluids should I apply to my contusions? So dumb. I absolutely hate that breastfeeding is this new pseudo-science-mystic-healing-powers bullshit. So over it. Anyway, that was also a bust and I’m getting off track. She was no help is my point.
Sooooooooo I pushed again and went to the hospital pediatrician, who I have mixed feelings about. I’ll explain why in a minute. She was the first person who actually had experience with tongue ties, and after hearing my suspicion, she poked Ender to get him crying (keep in mind he was like 2 days old and I was very sad to see him cry like that.) The minute he opened his mouth she said he had a severe tongue tie. I was happy I stood up for myself and my son, but annoyed that I had to ask three separate people and it was me asking instead of the medical professionals during whatever checkups they do, but whatever.
I didn’t know what to expect since Allyn’s experience had been so painful and traumatizing.
I guess it isn’t so when done on a baby, because Ender didn’t bleed, he didn’t scream, he was just annoyed at having a little spatula in his mouth to lift his tongue up. Unlike circumcision, which is a completely unnecessary cosmetic procedure, this was a cut on an infant (haha) that I feel like really truly helped him. Allyn was a little jealous that Ender would get to go through childhood without the trauma of not being able to speak or eat properly. I was just relieved and thought we’d fixed the problem.
But Ender was still having problems. I noticed that he had what I called a “turtle lip” and I suspected it was the cause of his bad latching issues. When he was only a week or two old I took him back to the pediatrician with again, suspicions that he had a lip tie. A lip tie is bad because it also prevents a good latch, which whether the baby is sucking down from a boob or a bottle, they get extra air, they have reflux, and so on. They can contribute to later problems as well, although since that was the “survival mode” of motherhood all I was worried about was the eating and latching. The pediatrician looked and said yes, he had a severe lip tie, BUT (and this is why I have a mixed opinion of her) she was very haughty about correction of lip ties and stated that “maybe a dentist would do it, but would they be doing it for the right reasons?” Implying that money was the only reason you’d want to remove such a feature. She urged me to wait it out and see if things “got better” WHICH IS THE WORRRRRRRRST ADVICE to a new mother with severe PPD but whatever lady, I’m sorry the dentist hurt you.
Poor old Ender was having a rough go of it and I got so mad about the doctor visit that I switched pediatricians which is the best choice I could have made. Ender’s new doctor took everything I said seriously, checked his mouth and was stunned at how “glued down” his lip was, and he called in another doctor who had extensive practice with the procedure. They asked if another pair of doctors could witness the procedure and I said sure, have at it. It was just the same as the tongue tie; took a few seconds, shed a few tears, and bam, a HUGE problem was fixed. And almost like he was reading my mind about the gall of the other pediatrician, the doctor said “We’ll see if we can look up some codes for this to bill it as cheap as possible since this was medically necessary, at this point.” Guess not every lip tie fixer is in it for the money EH LADY?
I was and am, very, very grateful for these compassionate and understanding men and wish they would have been around for my traumatizing birth and first three weeks, ha!
I don’t know how well I have helped Ender medically speaking; I know that he could eat better but still had reflux most of his early days. I know that we only breastfed for a month and I attribute a lot of that failure to the lip and tongue ties and the idiocy of the medical team “on my side” or whatever, and I know that according to Allyn, growing up with a tongue tie was completely miserable and I’ve spared Ender years of pain and strife. I also think it’s likely he could have had speech problems with the combination of a “severe” tongue and “severe” lip tie, and now that’s one less thing he has to worry about maybe? When we got home and I saw how full and luscious his lips were without the frenulum holding his lip down I cried because he has my lips and I had no idea before that. Just have a look at the before and after. (The before is the photo that prompted me to write this entry)