You know, I’m probably one of a choir of voices saying that 2017 has been a total wreck. I don’t even know why (oh wait yes I do, I spent the WHOLE YEAR PREGNANT and got flooded out of my freaking house) but I think a lot of the feeling of gloom and doom has been the media and the Back To the Future II Alternate Reality it’s painting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of humanity and never have been, but the media is the only thing more toxic than humans, and they have been feeding on emotions like maggots on a carcass. 2017 was rough, is my point.
So, imagine my surprise when I wanted to put this post together and realized, hey…we did a LOT of cool things this year! All I remembered was feeling nauseated and tired and swollen and homeless, but I powered through a lot of adventures, including a few things that were massive bucket list items. Some things I never thought I would even get to do, like introduce my son to my dad.
I’ll be following up this post with a list of things I want to do for 2018, as well as the story I haven’t told, about our trip to Hiawatha. But for now, here is the chronological list of crap that happened this year!!!
The winter stayed late this year, but in March/April we announced our pregnancy and had a gender reveal party. I’ll never forget seeing my little Zordon for the first time on ultrasound at eleven weeks; he was literally flipping full cartwheels and when Allyn and I saw him we both burst out laughing. Then he made us go to the fetal fotos place four times before the techs could see his sex. I was convinced after the repeated “here’s a lapful of umbilical cord” that I was having a girl, but as it turns out my first suspicions of having a boy were accurate!
Also in May we ventured home for a few reasons–firstly to attend a friend’s birthday party, and secondly, no lie, to attempt to visit Ghost Town (below left top and bottom). And we succeeded on both fronts! We had an amazing visit with family and Allyn got to see, for the first time, where I come from.
We wandered Farner and I had my first burnout, (don’t judge me) and we explored my abandoned elementary school as well as another nearby abandoned school. (black and white below photos) Other treats were Machine Falls (below right) and of course the Great Smoky Mountains.
As spring turned into summer things got tougher, but we still had a great time. In June, Allyn and I went camping in Carbon County for Father’s Day. We also attended a car show and I was in a pinup contest in Helper, I didn’t win BUT I won a prize for pinup knowledge which to me is even cooler. I don’t just like the clothes and hair, I know my shit when it comes to that time period (and a bunch of others, lol.)
In July we had a great time at Magna’s “Halloween in July” event. However, I’m convinced that these summer outside events need to move inside because I just can’t take the desert heat. Seven months pregnant and tottering around dressed as one of Immortan Joe’s wives was way too close to actual apocalypse. I did Allyn’s warboy makeup though, and that was awesome. So many people loved it!! We also caught the tail-end of the Bonneville Salt Flats race days, which was fun and also miserable for a big pregnant fatty. I swear, every summer memory I have is tainted with being so immobile and hot. HOT. Pregnancy in summer is the wooooooooooorst!
We also became temporarily homeless in July. There was a totally random Salt Lake flood and it destroyed our apartment. The landlady’s insurance company forced us to evacuate and through the kindness of a stranger on Reddit we had a basement to stay in for a few weeks while I burned up all of our saved funds looking for a place. So many kind people turned up out of the woodwork to help. It was the roughest time I’ve gone through because during this bout of purgatory my Dad had another, worse, motorcycle accident. The fear of not knowing if he was alive or his status compounded with not knowing where my son’s first home would be was devastating. I’m sure it contributed to my complications in late pregnancy.
So basically fuck late July and early August.
Somehow in all of this chaos we still managed to make it to Zermatt Resort for my birthday (carousel photo) which was on the day of the solar eclipse. We had intentions of getting into the old Mountain Spaa resort there, but it was pretty clearly guarded on all sides by houses and even though the sun was shaded that day, it was still full daylight. The photo below was taken around 11:30 am when the sky was darkest; it’s the photo from the abandoned resort.
In September our son was born and we became bona-fide parents. I don’t really know what to say about all that, I don’t have a big long tirade about motherhood being what I was born to do, lol. I also don’t have the cliche things to say about my son being my world and life was meaningless until this day etc etc. He is a tiny person who was brought into my world. And I love him deeply. I still get flashes of transcendence cat when we make eye contact sometimes.
Die Antwoord came to Saltair a day after my birthday and it was something Allyn and I had been planning to go to all year, no joke. Our original plan had something to do with dressing up super Zef, but I was so fat and preggo-summer miserable and I think Allyn was so tired of dealing with me by then (haha) that we just wore comfy clothes and had a great time. Funny story–we followed the tour bus out and saw Ninja and Yo-Landi and watched as the bus took the wrong turn and stayed in the wrong lane like five times on the way back to the city. You could smell the weed. It was pretty hilarious.
Anyway, Allyn made an official proposal during one of our songs and it was the sweetest. It was perfect in every way. We married on the anniversary of our first kiss. We married in front of the old Saltair location. I never thought I’d be the marrying type, and I certainly am not pro-marriage, but honestly I didn’t even question it with him. It just felt natural.
September and October were mostly just sprinkled with my rage and hate and post-partum issues, BUT THAT IS ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY! We did make it to Oktoberfest, although I had to have my dirndl altered because my post-baby body was uh, NOT the same size. It still isn’t. Why can’t we just telepathically create children or something? Biology is so inefficient. But, for Oktoberfest I bought Allyn legit lederhosen and boy, was he a hit! Everybody wanted photos. Such a handsome lumberjack.
I was suffering pretty badly in those first few months and got the jump on some sporadic, last-minute tickets to Tennessee. We took the baby to see his Tennessee family and I got some much-needed bonding time with my dad and sisters. My dad got to meet Ender, and Allyn finally socialized after having his first bout of Tennessee moonshine.
That pretty much brings us current! It’s December now, and all I’ve been doing is working and watching Riverdale and Penny Dreadful (more like Penny Dreadful Ending, amirite?) Riverdale is so bad/good, but it fills a spot that the Vampire Diaries previously filled–trashy, stupid teen drama soap opera. The 16 year old girl in me needs it. Plus, Archie Andrews? Hot redhead? Yes.
I’ll write more about the upcoming year as well as our Hiawatha incident, but I really just wanted to look back on this year in all its weird and intense glory and drama and soak it in for the eventful learning experience that it has been.